good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
