i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
