ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Your penis caused this!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
