Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
