Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
