I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize