Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
