There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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