He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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