Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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