This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
