Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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