the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
