youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
