I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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