i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
