so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
