Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
