dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
