I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize