guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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