So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
