Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
