called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
