Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
