I wish I could teleport
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I know her cup size but not her name....
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