we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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