Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize