I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
