if you like me you must not know who I am
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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