dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
