I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
