somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
