Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
