You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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