This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
