Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
two words: eviction party
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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