I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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