i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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