i don't like sucking hair
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize