Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
