Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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