There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
