THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize