I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
