it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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