I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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