lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
