She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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