well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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