I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
