I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
