ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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