Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This girl is more easily done than said...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I checked into jail on foursquare
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
