he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize