you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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