90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You're like the curious george of whores
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
