she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
