my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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