So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
