wake up i wanna do it froggy style
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
