Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
and you fell through a lawn chair
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
